terms of use

Aristotle says that metaphor causes the mind to experience itself / in the act of making a mistake.

--Anne Carson, “Essay on What I Think About Most”



The user (hereafter, “you”) uses (hereafter, "The Site" or "NL") at their own risk.


The Site describes situations that could lead to serious or even fatal injuries. I mean, if you did them in real life or whatever. Neither Kirk Lee Davis,, nor any of the Site’s authors, architects, or coffee-fetching assistants assume any responsibility for injuries--physical, emotional, reputational, or otherwise--sustained by the reader.

By using and its constituent subpages, you will be deemed to have irrevocably agreed to all Terms detailed herein. Please read these Terms carefully before using The Site.

Consult your doctor before beginning any new exercise regimen. Heart palpitations, vomiting, and any sudden hair growth or loss may point to underlying health concerns; these and similar conditions should be directed to a medical professional, even though the creators of NL intend to invoke all of these sensations in participants of The Site. 

Printer-friendly Neat Lesson Activity Pages™ may create increased risk of paper cuts (i.e., pain, embarrassment, minor bleeding, etc.)


“Do not read this sentence,” is a sentence that the literary theorist and philosopher Jacques Derrida once wrote. In a way, he must have been kidding. 

Similarly, will be recognized as a work of literary art. Any claims made herein regarding, but not limited to: 

  • expertise, 

  • educational value, 

  • truth, 

  • honesty, 

  • credibility, 

  • reputability,

  • likeness to other works referenced or parodied, 

  • Grammatical and/or syntactical correctness, and  

  • Pretty much everything else

should be understood as such; that is, as a creative work and/or "dad-humor." 


We value your privacy. NL will not sell or share any of your information without your consent. But privacy? We're not exactly IT wizards here. (To be fair, though: you think Highlights Magazine is safe from the Russian Hacking Machine?)


You may use this Site only for personal, non-commercial use. You must not modify, copy, distribute, transmit, display, perform, reproduce, publish, license, create derivative works from, transfer, sell, dance naked to, or make other use of any of the materials contained or displayed on this site without express written consent from Kirk Lee Davis or one of his children.

Readers are required to prepare a double-batch of any recipe encountered on the site. (The Site recognizes that might be a stretch. We're just hungry.)


Without limitation, you agree not to undertake any activity which may adversely affect the operation and/or enjoyment of this site by any other person. 

Except, what about jokes?

Think about this, for example. What if, say, you’re logged in in the NL Club Member Area™, and you contribute what is intended to be constructive critical feedback to The Site. Maybe, I don't know, you use the words "elitist dweebs wasting precious minutes of our precious and only-to-be-lived-once lives." And you’re just kidding, for crying out loud? Especially, like, teasing? Am I going to get in trouble? Will somebody get hurt and/or litigious?  

Further, given that humor is, by its nature, the exploration of boundaries, including those of appropriateness and/or moral acceptability, I mean, shit, man, what gives?

That, legal eagles, is a gray area indeed. Be kind. 






Speaking of which, could we get a legal expert to contact NL? To wit, do people ever use an epigraph in a document like this? Does that undermine the enforceability of these terms? It does, right?


We reserve the right to change these terms at any time by publishing a revised version of this agreement on the Site. You are responsible for regularly reviewing these terms. Continued use of the Site following any such change means you accept and will abide by the change(s). These terms were last updated on March 20, 2020.

©2019 Kirk Lee Davis