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terms of use

Aristotle says that metaphor causes the mind to experience itself / in the act of making a mistake.

--Anne Carson, “Essay on What I Think About Most”



The user (hereafter, “you”) uses (hereafter, "The Site" or "NL") at their own risk.


The Site describes situations that could lead to serious or even fatal injuries. Do not try anything in real life that is likely to lead to serious or fatal injuries. (That's good advice in general, even if it goes without saying.)

Neither Kirk Lee Davis,, nor any of the Site’s authors, architects, fact-checkers, editors, contributors, gardeners, pediatricians, pets, houseplants, or coffee-fetching assistants assume any responsibility for injuries--physical, emotional, reputational, or otherwise--sustained by the reader.

By using and its constituent subpages, you will be deemed to have irrevocably agreed to all Terms detailed herein. Please read these Terms carefully before using The Site.

Consult your doctor before beginning any new exercise regimen. Heart palpitations, vomiting, and any sudden hair growth (or loss) may point to underlying health concerns; these and similar conditions should be directed to a medical professional.  

Be advised: printer-friendly Neat Lesson Activity Pages™ have caused paper cuts in some users.

FURTHER WEASELING shall be recognized as a work of literary art. Any claims made herein regarding, but not limited to: 

  • expertise, 

  • educational value, 

  • truth, 

  • honesty, 

  • credibility, 

  • reputability,

  • likeness to other works referenced or parodied, 

  • grammatical and/or syntactical correctness, and  

  • pretty much everything else

should be understood as such; that is, as a creative work and/or "dad-humor." 


We value your privacy. NL will not sell or share any of your information without your consent. But privacy? We're not exactly IT wizards here. Enter at your own risk.


You may use this Site only for personal, non-commercial use. You must not modify, copy, distribute, transmit, display, perform, reproduce, publish, license, create derivative works from, transfer, sell, squish, or make other use of any of the materials contained or displayed on this site without express written consent from the NL Editorial Staff.


If the Reader encounters a recipe within the Site, the Reader is then encouraged to make a double-batch, and please to send some to the NL Editorial Staff (who have not yet had lunch). 

Without limitation, you agree not to undertake any activity which may adversely affect the operation and/or enjoyment of this site by any other person. NL is designed as a space for creative exploration and respectful camaraderie. Untoward behavior will not be tolerated. 


You're right. We can be kind of wishy-washy when it comes to "untoward behavior." Like, what about if you're just joking around?

Think about this, for example. What if, say, the Site develops a NL Club Member Area™. Let's say, in this example, that you log in to NL Club Member Area™, and you contribute NL Club Feedback™ to the Site, and therein describe the NL Editorial Staff (i.e., me) as an "elitist dweeb." 

For crying out loud, you might argue: you’re only teasing! (You are just teasing, right?) Should not that be okay? Is somebody really going to get hurt and/or litigious????  

Further, given that humor is, by its nature, the exploration of boundaries, including those of appropriateness and/or moral acceptability, then, shit, man, what gives?

That, legal eagles, is the gray area indeed. We may kick you out. We may not. We're fickle. There are kids present. Be nice. 






Speaking of which, could we get a legal expert to contact NL? To wit, do people ever use an epigraph in a document like this? Does that undermine the enforceability of these terms? It does, right?


The Elitist Dweebs™ of do hope you will enjoy no small amount of eye-rolling, heart palpitations, vomiting, mistake-making, and dramatic sudden hair growth (or loss) while visiting the site. We reserve the right to change these terms at any time by publishing a revised version of this agreement on the Site. You are responsible for regularly reviewing these terms. Continued use of the Site following any such change means you accept and will abide by the change(s). These terms were last updated on March 6, 2021.

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